And I love them for loving me.

And we love each other.

And that's 'cause none of us got
enough love in our childhoods.

And that's show biz...

... kid.

¢Ý She's givin ' up
her humdrum life ¢Ý

- ¢Ý I'm gonna be -- Sing it ¢Ý
- ¢Ý Roxie ¢Ý

¢Ý She made a scandal
and a start ¢Ý

¢Ý And Sophie Tucker
will shit, I know ¢Ý

¢Ý To see her name
get billed below ¢Ý

¢Ý Roxie Hart ¢Ý

I can't take it anymore.

You can't go anywhere without
hearing about that dumb tomato!

Oh, no, Mama, not you, too.

I have some bad news.
The tour has been canceled.

What?

Your name's been
out of the papers too long.

All you read about today
is that Hart kid.

She's hot.

And what am l
supposed to do, huh?

Suck up to her
like everybody else?

It couldn't hurt.

Over my dead body.

Mind if I join you?

[ Clicking, feedback ]

MAN :
Lights out. 1 0 minutes.

Smoke?

Look what
some Johnny sent me.

Triple-cream caramels
all the way from San Francisco.

I'm watching my figure.

You know, the trial.

Hey, great mention of you
in the Trib today, huh?

You know,
there have been so many.

I just can't keep track.

Did I tell you, you are exactly
the same size as my sister?

You'd fit into her costumes
perfectly.

Really?

Yeah. I was thinking
with all the publicity

that's piled up between us,
and when Billy gets us off,

we'd be a natural
to do an act together.

You think so, huh?

[ Clicking, feedback ]

BANDLEADER:
Ladies and gentlemen...

Miss Velma Kelly
in an act of desperation.

¢Ý My sister and I had an act
that couldn't flop ¢Ý

¢Ý My sister and I were headed
straight for the top ¢Ý

¢Ý My sister and I earned
a thou a week at least ¢Ý

¢Ý Oh, yeah ¢Ý

¢Ý But my sister
is now unfortunately deceased ¢Ý

¢Ý I know it's sad, of course ¢Ý

¢Ý But a fact is still a fact ¢Ý

¢Ý And now all that remains
is the remains ¢Ý

¢Ý Of a perfect ¢Ý

¢Ý Double ¢Ý

¢Ý Act ¢Ý

Watch this.

You have to imagine it
with two people.

It's swelI with two people.

¢Ý First I'd ¢Ý

¢Ý Then she'd ¢Ý

¢Ý Then we'd ¢Ý

¢Ý But I can't do it alone ¢Ý

¢Ý Then she'd ¢Ý

¢Ý Then I'd ¢Ý

¢Ý Then we'd ¢Ý

¢Ý But I can't do it alone ¢Ý

¢Ý She'd say,
"What's your sister like ?" ¢Ý

¢Ý I'd say, "Men " ¢Ý

¢Ý She'd say,
"You're the cat's meow" ¢Ý

¢Ý Then we 'd
wow the crowd again ¢Ý

¢Ý When she'd go ¢Ý

¢Ý I'd go ¢Ý

¢Ý We'd go ¢Ý

¢Ý Then those dingdong daddies
started to roar ¢Ý

¢Ý Whistled, stomped,
stamped on the floor ¢Ý

¢Ý Yelling, screaming,
begging for more ¢Ý

¢Ý And we'd say, "Okay, fellas,
keep your socks up ¢Ý

¢Ý 'Cause you ain't seen
nothin' yet" ¢Ý

¢Ý But I simply cannot do it ¢Ý

¢Ý Alone ¢Ý

So, what do you think, huh?

Come on, you can say.

I know. You're right.
The first part's shit.

But the second part...

is really nifty.

Okay.

¢Ý She'd go ¢Ý

¢Ý I'd go ¢Ý

¢Ý We'd go ¢Ý

¢Ý And then those two-bit
Johnnies did it up brown ¢Ý

¢Ý To cheer the best attraction
in town ¢Ý

¢Ý They nearly tore
the balcony down ¢Ý

¢Ý And we'd say, "Okay, boys,
we're going home ¢Ý

¢Ý But before we go, here's
a few more partin' shots " ¢Ý

¢Ý And this we did
in perfect unison ¢Ý

¢Ý Now you've seen me
going through it ¢Ý

¢Ý You may think
there's nothing to it ¢Ý

¢Ý But I simply cannot do it ¢Ý

¢Ý Alone ¢Ý

So, where was the part
where you blew her brains out?

Okay, Roxie,
I'Il level with you.

Oh, no, no, no.
Don't bother.

You think you're fooling me?

You're alI washed up,
and it's me they want now.

And l'm a big star.

Single.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You were in the paper
today, too...

in the back,
with the obituaries.

"Velma Kelly's trial has been
postponed indefinitely."

Seven words. Wow.

Oh. Here's a little piece
of advice.

Direct from me to you.

Lay off the caramels.

BANDLEADER: And now, for all you
Chicago stay-up-laters.

You night owls who only
come alive after dark.

We dedicate this tune.

"Chicago After Midnight."

BlLLY: This all took place
on Lakeshore Drive.

Incredible. Incredible.

All right. Yeah.
Thanks, Tom.

They just arrested this woman
for a triple homicide.

Really?

Get this.
She's an heiress.

What?

All the family's in...

pineapples, grapefruits,
some kind of fruit.

So anyhow, this dame,
Kitty what's-her-name...

she's playing house
on the North Side

in an apartment
with a guy named Harry.

What Harry does for a living,
no one's quite sure,

but it doesn't matter
because she's footing the bills.

Anyhow,
Kitty comes home tonight.

Harry's in bed,
which is par for the course.

She goes to change.

When she returns, she notices
something rather odd.

Extremely odd.

Kitty disappears for a second.
Cool as a cucumber.

When she returns,
she gently wakes up Harry.

[ Laughter ]

Harry says, "What? I'm alone."

She says, "Alone?

You got two other women
in bed with you."

So, get this.
Harry says, "Come on, doll.

You gonna believe what you see
or what I tell you?"

[ Laughter ]

Good night, folks.

Give us the line!

Give us the line!

Miss Sunshine.
From the Evening Star.

I wonder if you wouldn't mind
saying a word or two?

Sure, I'll say three.
Go to hell!

Please direct your questions
to her counsel.

You're not my counsel,
and I want my money back.

It's not your money.
It's your mother's money.

MARY SUNSHlNE :
Are you sorry, dear?

Sure, l'm sorry.

Sorry I got caught.

-Oh, Miss Sunshine?
-Not now, Roxie.

I got a letter from a guy.

He says he's going on a hunger
strike until l'm freed.

That's nice, dear.

Miss Baxter?

Did you know
these two ladies personally?

Did I know these two ladies?
Was that your question?

Yeah, that's my --

She's very high-spirited,
isn't she?

Miss Baxter?

Oh, hey, Mr. Flynn!

Mr. Flynn!

-Yeah, hi, Trixie.
-It's Roxie.

Yeah, sure,
I was just kidding.

Did you get my trial date yet?

Listen, kid...

I'm at the top
of your list, right?

Go to hell!

Boy, what a hellion, huh?

She's a socialite, too.

Her mother owns
all the pineapples in Hawaii.

What the hell do I care
about pineapples?

-All right.
-Listen!

Miss Baxter will answer
all of your questions.

Afterwards, l'll be happy to
give you an interview myself.

VELMA:
How's it feel, kid?

J. Edgar Hoover couldn't find
your name in the papers.

Mr. Flynn!

BlLLY: Someone open this door
immediately!

MARY SUNSHlNE : Oh, my God!
Roxie! What is it, dear?

Oh! Oh, no.
Don't worry about me.

Oh, I only hope
the fall didn't hurt the baby.

Baby?

Shit!

Roxie, when did
this happen, darling?

Well, Doc,
is she or isn't she?

She is.

Would you swear
to that statement in court?

Yes.

Good.

Button your fly.

I would just like to
say that...

my own life
doesn't matter now...

just that of my unborn child.

You poor dear, to have
your baby born in jail.

My readers won't stand for it.

I can assure you
that won't happen.

She'll come to trial
at the earliest moment.

I think it's sweet.

First time we ever had
one of our girls knocked up.

When is the baby due, Roxie?

I just heard the good news.

I'm the father!
I'm the father!

Roxie, who's the father?

That question
is completely out of line.

How dare you insult
this brave, young woman.

That's enough.

Roxie, honey!

It's me! Daddy!

It's Daddy!

Roxie, I came
as soon as I could!

¢Ý If someone stood up
in a crowd ¢Ý

¢Ý And raised his voice up
way out loud ¢Ý

¢Ý And waved his arm
and shook his leg ¢Ý

¢Ý You'd notice him ¢Ý

¢Ý If someone in the movie show ¢Ý

¢Ý Yelled,
"Fire in the second row! ¢Ý

¢Ý This whole place
is a powder keg!" ¢Ý

¢Ý You'd notice him ¢Ý

¢Ý And even without clucking
like a hen ¢Ý

¢Ý Everyone gets noticed
now and then ¢Ý

¢Ý Unless, of course,
that personage should be ¢Ý

¢Ý Invisible ¢Ý

¢Ý Inconsequential ¢Ý

¢Ý Me ¢Ý

¢Ý Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý Mister Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý Shoulda been my name ¢Ý

¢Ý Mister Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý 'Cause you can look
right through me ¢Ý

¢Ý Walk right by me ¢Ý

¢Ý And never know I'm there ¢Ý

¢Ý I tell ya ¢Ý

¢Ý Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý Mister Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý Shoulda been my name ¢Ý

¢Ý Mister Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý 'Cause you can look
right through me ¢Ý

¢Ý Walk right by me ¢Ý

¢Ý And never know I'm there ¢Ý

Oh. I didn't see you.

Sit down. Sit down.

Look, Andy, I'm afraid
I got to hit you hard.

And I can only hope
that you'Il be big about it.

Amos. My name is Amos.

Who said it wasn't?

Oh, it was the kid's name
I was thinking about, yeah.

You know when she's due?

September.

Oh, but pass out
those cigars, anyway.

I don't want you
to give a damn when people...

People what?

Laugh.

Laugh?
Why would they laugh?

'Cause they can count.

Can you count?

September.

Here's a copy
of Roxie's first statement

from the D.A.'s office.

It says she hadn't copulated
with you

for four months
prior to the incident.

Well, she would know.

Yeah, I guess we hadn't done
no copulating since...

Wait a minute.
That don't figure out right.

I couldn't be the father.

Forget about that now.
My client needs your support.

You mean she needs
a meal ticket.

That's all I ever been.

This time she's gone too far.

What are you gonna do?
Divorce her?

You're damn right!

I'll divorce her!

She probably won't even notice.

[ lntercom buzzes ]

Yeah?
Yeah, put him through.

¢Ý A human being's made
of more than air ¢Ý

¢Ý With all that bulk,
you're bound to see him there ¢Ý

¢Ý Unless that human being
next to you ¢Ý

¢Ý Is unimpressive ¢Ý

¢Ý Undistinguished ¢Ý

¢Ý You ¢Ý

¢Ý Know ¢Ý

¢Ý Who ¢Ý

You stiIl here, Andy?

Yeah, I'm stiIl here.

I think.

¢Ý Shoulda been my name ¢Ý

¢Ý Mister Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý 'Cause you can look
right through me ¢Ý

¢Ý Walk right by me ¢Ý

¢Ý And never know I'm there ¢Ý

¢Ý I tell ya ¢Ý

¢Ý Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý Mister Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý Shoulda been my name ¢Ý

¢Ý Mister Cellophane ¢Ý

¢Ý 'Cause you can look
right through me ¢Ý

¢Ý Walk right by me ¢Ý

¢Ý And never know I'm there ¢Ý

¢Ý Never even ¢Ý

¢Ý Know ¢Ý

¢Ý I'm there ¢Ý

I hope I didn't take up
too much of your time.

I've been waiting 1 0 minutes.
Don't do that again.

This dress makes me look Iike
a Woolworth's lampshade.

I'm not wearing this.

You're wearing it
because I tell you to wear it.

When Andy's on the stand,
I want you to be knitting.

Knitting?
Oh, for Christ sakes.

-A baby garment.
-I don't know how to knit!

Then learn.

That is no way
to win a jury's sympathy.

Oh, you don't need advice
anymore.

Lookit here, Mr. Mouthpiece...

it seems to me
that I am the one

who's coming up
with the good ideas.

I am sick of everybody
telling me what to do.

You treat me like dirt.

You treat me like l'm some
dumb common criminal.

But you are.

Well, it's better than being
a greasy Mick lawyer.

Who happens to be
saving your ass!

Who's out for all he can steal!

Maybe you'd like
to appear in court without me.

Well, maybe I could.

Have you read
the morning papers?

They love me!

Wise up! They'd love you
a lot more if you were hanged.

You know why?
'Cause they'd sell more papers.

You're fired.

I quit.

Any lawyer in this town
would die to have my case.

You are a phony celebrity.
You're a flash in the pan.

In a couple of weeks, no one's
gonna give a shit about you.

That's Chicago.

What happened?

It's the Hunyak.

She lost her last appeal.

So what's that mean?

Well, that means that next week,
she's gonna...

This is Mary Sunshine coming to
you from the Cook County Jail...

where history
will be made today.

Katalin Helinski
will become the first woman

in the state of lllinois
to be executed.

And so, ladies and gentlemen...

And now,
ladies and gentlemen...

for your pleasure
and your entertainment...

we proudly present
Katalin Helinski

and her famous
Hungarian disappearing act.

You know,
it's really not that bad.

You clear about everything
we agreed on?

Yep. I've been up all night
rehearsing.

What do you do when Harrison
starts coming after you?

I sit still
and look straight ahead...

never at the jury.

-And?
-And I look modest.

-And?
-And...

-And say nothing.
-That's right.

-That was the deal, right?
-Right.

You asked me back.
I do all the talking this time.

Absolutely, Billy.
Whatever you say.

Mr. Flynn.
His Honor's here.

Thank you.

You ready?

Yeah.

I'm scared.

Ah, don't be.

I've been around a long time.

Believe me. You got
nothing to worry about.

It's all a circus.
A three-ring circus.

These trials, the whole world.

It's all show business.

But, kid...

You're working with a star.

¢Ý Give 'em
the old razzle dazzle ¢Ý

¢Ý Razzle dazzle 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý Give 'em an act
with lots of flash in it ¢Ý

¢Ý And the reaction
will be passionate ¢Ý

¢Ý Give 'em
the old hocus pocus ¢Ý

¢Ý Bead and feather 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý How can they see
with sequins in their eyes? ¢Ý

¢Ý What if your hinges
all are rusting ? ¢Ý

¢Ý What if, in fact,
you're just disgusting? ¢Ý

¢Ý Razzle dazzle 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý And they'll never catch wise ¢Ý

¢Ý Give 'em
the old razzle dazzle ¢Ý

¢Ý Razzle dazzle 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý Give 'em a show
that's so splendiferous ¢Ý

¢Ý Row after row
will grow vociferous ¢Ý

¢Ý Give 'em
the old flimflam flummox ¢Ý

¢Ý Fool and fracture 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý How can they hear the truth
above the roar? ¢Ý

¢Ý Throw 'em a fake
and a finagle ¢Ý

¢Ý They'll never know
you're just a bagel ¢Ý

¢Ý Razzle dazzle 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý And they'll beg you for more ¢Ý

- I object!
-Sustained.

Your Honor, I haven't even
asked the question yet.

¢Ý Give 'em
the old double whammy ¢Ý

¢Ý Daze and dizzy 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý Back since the days
of old Meth uselah ¢Ý

¢Ý Everyone loves
the big bamboozler ¢Ý

¢Ý Give 'em
the old th ree-ring circus ¢Ý

¢Ý Stun and stagger 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý When you're in trouble,
go in to your dance ¢Ý

¢Ý Though you are stiffer
than a girder ¢Ý

¢Ý They'll let you get a way
with murder ¢Ý

¢Ý Razzle dazzle 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý And you got a romance ¢Ý

HelIo, Amos.

Amos.

That's right, Mr. Flynn.
Amos.

Amos, when did you file suit
for divorce?

A month ago.

Was there any reason
at this time?

I'Il say.

The newspapers said Roxie
was expecting a Iittle stranger.

That's hardly grounds
for divorce, is it?

A little too much
of a stranger.

You mean you doubted
the paternity of the child.

Well, sure.

Tell me, Amos.
You share a bed with your wife?

Yes, sir, every night.

And you expect
this jury to believe

that you slept
next to this woman every night

without exercising your rights
as a husband?

Well, I could've
if I wanted to.

-Oh, but you didn't.
-No, I did.

-Did what?
-Want to.

-But you didn't.
-Didn't what?

-What you wanted.
-Wait. I'm getting confused.

Did you ever question
Roxie herself?

Did you ask her if you were
the father of her child?

No, sir.

But if you became convinced
that you were wrong...

you'd be man enough to admit it.

You'd take her back
if Roxie swore

that you were the father.

-Which she does.
-She does?

She does! She does!

No more questions!

You can step down now.

Well done, Andy.

Oh, Roxie, l'm so sorry.

ALL: Aw!

[ Applause ]

¢Ý Give 'em
the old razzle dazzle ¢Ý

¢Ý Razzle dazzle 'em ¢Ý

¢Ý Show 'em the first-rate
sorcerer you are ¢Ý

¢Ý Long as you keep 'em
way off balance ¢Ý

¢Ý How can they spot
you got no talents? ¢Ý

¢Ý Razzle dazzle 'em ¢Ý

This is the moment
we've been waiting for.

Roxie Hart
finally takes the stand

in her own defense.

¢Ý And they'll make you
a star ¢Ý

Order! Order!

Proceed, Mr. Flyn n.

Roxie,
I have here a statement

in which you admit to having
iIlicit relations

with the deceased,
Fred Casely.

Is this true or false?

I'm afraid that's true.

You're an honest girl, Roxie.

When did you first meet
Fred Casely?

When he sold Amos and me
our furniture.

Your personal relationship
with him --

could you tell the jury
when that began?

When I permitted him
to escort me home one night.

I don't think
I would've gone with him

if Mr. Hart and me hadn't
quarreled that very morning.

-Quarreled?
-Yes, sir.

Well, I suppose
it was his fault.

Oh, no, sir.
It was my fault.

I suppose I just couldn't stop
pestering him.

Pestering him?
About what?

I didn't like him working
those long hours at the garage.

I wanted him home with me...

to darn his socks
and iron his shirts.

I wanted a real home
and a child.

So you drifted
into this illicit relationship

because you were unhappy
at home.

Yes. I was most unhappy.

Roxie Hart!

The state has accused you
of the murder of Fred Casely!

Are you guilty or not guilty?

I'm not guilty.
I'm not guilty.

I killed him.
I did, but l'm not a criminal.

I'm not a criminal!

Do you recall
the night of January 14th?

Could you tell the jury,
in your own words,

the happenings of that night?

Well, when Fred came over,
I told him my good news.

And what was that?

That me and Amos
were gonna have a baby.

And that it was all over
between us.

What happened then?

Well, then...

Then...

Did he threaten you, Roxie?

Objection, Your Honor.
Counsel is leading the witness!

Sustained.

What did Casely say
when you told him the news?

"l'll kill you before l'll see
you have another man's child! "

Could you tell the audience --
the jury -- what happened next?

Well, in his passion,
he tore off my robe...

and he threw me on the bed.

And Mr. Hart's pistol
was lying there between us.

And then?

We both reached for the gun,
but I got it first.

Then he came toward me with
this funny look in his eyes.

He was angry and wild!

-Wild!
-Wild!

Did you think
he meant to kill you?

Oh, yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

So it was his life or yours?

And not just mine.

I closed my eyes, and I shot!

In defense of your life!

To save my husband's
innocent, unborn child!

[ All gasping ]

[ lndistinct shouting ]

-Roxie!
-Order!

What a bull's-eye, huh?

Order in this court!

I'll clear this court
if necessary.

There's pandemonium
here in the courtroom.

Order! Bailiff!

Mrs. Hart's behavior
throughout this ordeal

has been truly extraordinary.

Yeah, I bet it has.

Opening her eyes,
she fans herself

with her attorney's
handkerchief.

-Handkerchief?
-Poor child has had no relief.

She looks around bewildered,
seeming to want something.

Oh, it's a glass of water.

Oh, Mama, that was my bit!

I told Billy I was gonna
do that at my trial!

But now her eyes
flutter wildly, and she --

Mrs. Hart has fainted again.

Oh, jeez.

She slumps over, her chiffon
dress up around her knees,

revealing a glimpse of a blue
garter with a rhinestone buckle.

Oh, Mama, she stole my garter.

-She stole my garter!
-Don't break my radio!

First, the slob
steals my publicity.

Then she steals my lawyer,
my trial date.

Now my goddamn garter!

What do you expect?

These days
you get a little success...

and it's good riddance
to the people who put you there.

There ain't no justice
in the world.

And there ain't nothing
you can do about it.

Nerts to that.

You think I got you up here just
so you can listen to my radio?

People write some
pretty interesting things

when they think
no one's looking.

Oh, Mama.

The state
calls a rebuttal witness.

[ Spectators murmuring ]

Left hand on the Bible,
raise your right hand.

You swear to tell the truth,
so help you God?

And then some.

Have a seat.

Would you state your name
for the record, please?

Velma Kelly.

Miss Kelly,
will you please tell the court

if the object I am holding
is the one

you happened to come upon
in the defendant's jail cell?

Yes, it is.

I submit this as Exhibit "X."

Roxie Hart's diary.

I object!

My client has never kept
a diary.

And even if she did, this
would be invasion of privacy

in violation
of the Fourth Amendment

and illegal search
without a warrant.

Yeah.
And she broke the lock.

[ Laughter, gavel banging ]

Order! Order!

Well, that settles that.
I'll allow it.

What's the big deal?
It's just a bunch of doodlings.

If you would read
for us, please.

I haven't worked in a while.

"What a laugh,
plugging Fred Casely.

The big baboon had it coming.

I'm just sorry
I only got to kill him once."

I never wrote that!

You...

Hey, she made that up!

-Order! Order!
-She made that up!

Please, Mr. Flynn,
get control of your client.

I'm sorry, Your Honor.
It won't happen again.

Sit down. Shut up.
It's only making it worse.

I have no more questions.

Your witness, Mr. Flynn.

Ladies and gentlemen,
a tap dance.

Miss Kelly, did you make a deal
with Mr. Harrison?

Maybe to drop
all charges against you

in exchange for testifying?

Well, sure.
I'm not a complete idiot.

[ Laughter ]

Good. Good.

Since you gave
such an impressive performance

for Mr. Harrison, maybe
you'd do me the same honor.

-I'd be delighted.
-Thank you.

"Fred Casely assured me

he'd get me an audition
down at the Onyx.

Then he reneged on his pledge,

and that was my motive
for attacking him."

Pretty fancy way of saying
"He's a big fat liar

who welshed on a deal,
so I shot him."

"Amos accused me
of having an affair...

so I told him that the charge
was erroneous."

Objection, Your Honor!

Mr. Flynn is twisting
this evidence

to draw conclusions
that are specious and...

-Erroneous?
-Exactly!

[ Laughter, gavel banging ]

Order! Order!

Miss Kelly, do you know
the meaning of the word perjury?

-Yes, I do.
-Do you know it's a crime?

Yes.

If it turns out that you knew
that this diary was a fake...

I'd hate to think of you rotting
in prison for the next 1 0 years.

Since you won your freedom.

Look, all I know
is what I was told.

Oh, so, all right.

So you didn't find
this diary in Roxie's cell?

No.

Mama -- Miss Morton
gave it to me.

She said someone sent it to her.

Someone? Any idea who this
mysterious benefactor might be?

No. She didn't know.

All right, let's see
if we can work this out.

Someone who writes
about reneging on pledges

and erroneous charges.

Call me crazy. Doesn't that
sound like a lawyer?

A lawyer who had a sample
of my client's handwriting.

Mr. Harrison,
didn't you ask Roxie

to write out a confession?

Yes. You're not suggesting
I tampered with evidence?

No. I wouldn't.
Don't be ridiculous.

No. That's thoroughly
and utterly absurd.

Now that you mention it...

Your Honor,
this is outrageous!

I know. I agree.

To even suggest
that the prosecutor

would make a thieves' bargain
with Velma Kelly...

then fabricate the very evidence
that set her free!

Just so you can win
another case

and move one step closer
to the Governor's Mansion!

Why, it's simply beyond
all imagining!

I'll hold you in contempt!

No, it is not even conceivable!

But if it were,
wouldn't it be time to say:

"Come clean, Mr. Harrison"?

Even in Chicago, this kind
of corruption cannot stand!

Will not stand!

That's enough, Mr. Flynn!

I agree, Your Honor!

It is enough!

The defense rests.

[ Rim shot, cymbals crash ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Mary Sunshine...

reporting live from
the Cook County Courthouse.

The city of Chicago has come
to a complete standstill...

as the trial of the century
finally draws to a close.

Mrs. Hart sits quietly
at the defense table.

Hands folded.

Wondering what fate
has in store for her.

And now a hush
falls over the courtroom...

as the 1 2 men of the jury file
slowly back to their seats.

[ Gavel banging ]

Gentlemen of the jury,
have you reached a verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

The jury has reached
a verdict.

Will the defendant please rise?

What is your verdict?

We, the jury,
find the defendant...

Roxie Hart is innocent!
She's innocent!

Get your paper!

Roxie Hart is free!
She's free!

[ Gunshots, screaming ]

Come on! Move it!

First she shoots the husband,
then she plugs the lawyer.

Don't you want
to take my picture?

I'm the famous Roxie Hart.

Hey, what happened?

Billy, what the hell happened?

This is Chicago, kid.

You can't beat fresh blood
on the walls.

But my publicity, Billy.
My name in the papers.

I was counting on that.

Your gratitude
is overwhelming, kid.

I just saved your life.

Yeah, and you got $5,000.

And what do I get?
I get nothing?

It's $10,000
once I collect from Velma.

I get nothing?

Oh, don't forget
your blessed diary.

Hope you don't mind.
I added a few erroneous phrases.

Sorry I couldn't tell you.

Couldn't take a chance.

I never lost a case.

You're a free woman,
Roxie Hart.

And God save lllinois.

What do you want?

I want you to come home.

You said you still wanted to.
And the baby.

Baby? What baby?

Oh, Jesus.

What do you take me for?

There ain't no baby.

There ain't no baby?

They didn't even want
my picture.

I can't understand that.

Why didn't they even want
my picture?

¢Ý It's good ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it grand? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it great? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it swell? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it fun? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it? ¢Ý

¢Ý Nowadays ¢Ý

Ladies and gentlemen...

Miss Roxie Hart says
"Good night."

¢Ý There's men everywhere ¢Ý

¢Ý Jazz everywhere ¢Ý

¢Ý Booze everywhere ¢Ý

¢Ý Life everywhere ¢Ý

¢Ý Joy everywhere ¢Ý

¢Ý Nowadays ¢Ý

¢Ý You can like
the life you're livin' ¢Ý

¢Ý You can live
the life you like ¢Ý

¢Ý You can even marry Harry ¢Ý

¢Ý But mess around with Ike ¢Ý

¢Ý And that's good ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it grand? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it great? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it swell? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it fun? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it? ¢Ý

¢Ý But nothing ¢Ý

¢Ý Stays ¢Ý

¢Ý You can like
the life you're living ¢Ý

¢Ý You can live
the life you like ¢Ý

Didn't she kiIl a guy
awhiIe back?

Ah, who can keep them
straight anymore?

¢Ý But mess around with Ike ¢Ý

¢Ý And that's good ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it grand? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it great? ¢Ý

That's great!

We'Il be in touch.

I'm not quite finished yet.

Wait, wait, wait.
One more.

I could...

Just a second.
I'm not --

God damn it!

Thank you!

Here's the music, hon.

Thanks.

God damn it.

You know,
you're really pretty good.

Yeah, that and a dime.

What are you doing here?

I heard you been
making the rounds.

if it was up to you,
I'd be swinging by now.

I always knew
Billy would get you off.

You should learn how
to put things behind you.

Oh, thank you.

I'll put that
at the top of my list.

Right after finding a job
and an apartment with a john.

Shut up and listen to me!

You really are something.

Coming in here
like some goddamn queen bee.

All full of advice
for a poor slob like me.

Let me tell you something,
Miss Velma Kelly.

I got a new life now.

One of the best things about it
is it don't include you.

I thought we could help
each other.

You thought wrong, didn't you?

Listen to me.

I talked to this guy downtown.

He said one jazz killer
is nothing these days...

but two...

We could make
a couple of hundred a week.

Think about it, Roxie.

Our faces back in the papers.
Our names on the marquee.

Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart.

Shouldn't it be alphabetical?

That could work.

Couple hundred?

Maybe we could ask for a thou.

We're worth it.

Forget it.

It'll never work.

Why not?

'Cause I hate you.

There's only one business
in the world

where that's no problem
at all.

Ladies and gentlemen...

the Chicago Theater
is proud to announce a first.

The first time anywhere there's
been an act of this nature.

Not only one little lady.
But two.

You've read about them
in the papers.

And now here they are.

Chicago's own killer-dillers.
Those scintillating sinners.

Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!

[ Cheers and applause ]

¢Ý You can like
the life you're livin ' ¢Ý

¢Ý You can live
the life you like ¢Ý

¢Ý You can even marry Harry ¢Ý

¢Ý But mess around with Ike ¢Ý

¢Ý And that's good ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it grand? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it great? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it swell? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it fun? ¢Ý

¢Ý Isn't it? ¢Ý

¢Ý But nothing stays ¢Ý

¢Ý In 50 years or so ¢Ý

¢Ý It's gonna change, you know ¢Ý

¢Ý But, oh, it's heaven ¢Ý

¢Ý Nowadays ¢Ý

Okay, you babes of jazz,
Iet's pick up the pace.

Let's make the parties longer,
the skirts shorter.

Let's alI go to hell
in a fast car and keep it hot!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Applause ]

[ Cheers ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers, whistling ]

Me and Roxie, we'd just like
to say thank you!

Thank you!

Believe us, we could not
have done it without you!

¢Ý And all ¢Ý

¢Ý That ¢Ý

¢Ý Jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý That jazz ¢Ý

5, 6, 7, 8...

¢Ý While truckin ' down
the road of life ¢Ý

¢Ý Although all hope
seems gone ¢Ý

¢Ý I just move on ¢Ý

¢Ý When I can't find
a single star ¢Ý

¢Ý To hang my wish upon ¢Ý

¢Ý I just move on ¢Ý

¢Ý I move on ¢Ý

¢Ý I run so fast ¢Ý

¢Ý A shotgun blast ¢Ý

¢Ý Can hurt me not one bit ¢Ý

¢Ý I'm on my toes ¢Ý

¢Ý 'Cause heaven knows ¢Ý

¢Ý A moving target's
hard to hit ¢Ý

¢Ý So as we play an ice ballet ¢Ý

¢Ý We're not the dying swan ¢Ý

¢Ý We just move on ¢Ý

¢Ý We move on ¢Ý

¢Ý Just when it seems ¢Ý

¢Ý We're out of dreams ¢Ý

¢Ý And things
have got us down ¢Ý

¢Ý We don't despair ¢Ý

¢Ý We don't go there ¢Ý

¢Ý We hang our bonnets
out of town ¢Ý

¢Ý So there's no doubt ¢Ý

¢Ý We're well cut out ¢Ý

¢Ý To run life's marathon ¢Ý

¢Ý We just move on ¢Ý

¢Ý We just move on ¢Ý

¢Ý So fleet of foot ¢Ý

¢Ý We can't stay put ¢Ý

¢Ý We just move on ¢Ý

¢Ý Yes, we move on ¢Ý

¢Ý Come on, babe,
why don't we paint the town ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz? ¢Ý

¢Ý I'm gonna rouge my knees
and roll my stockings down ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Start the car,
I know a whoopee spot ¢Ý

¢Ý Where the gin is cold,
but the piano's hot ¢Ý

¢Ý It's just a noisy hall
where there's a nightly brawl ¢Ý

¢Ý And all ¢Ý

¢Ý That ¢Ý

¢Ý Jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Find a flask,
we're playing fast and loose ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Righ t up here
is where I store the juice ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Come on, babe,
we're gonna brush the sky ¢Ý

¢Ý I betcha Lucky Lindy
never flew so high ¢Ý

¢Ý 'Cause in the stratosphere,
how could he lend an ear ¢Ý

¢Ý To all ¢Ý

¢Ý That ¢Ý

¢Ý Jazz? ¢Ý

¢Ý Oh, you're gonna see
your sheba shimmy-shake ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Oh, she's gonna shimmy
till her garters break ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Show her
where to park her girdle ¢Ý

¢Ý Oh, her mother's blood
will curdle ¢Ý

¢Ý If she 'd hear
her baby's queer ¢Ý

¢Ý For all ¢Ý

¢Ý That ¢Ý

¢Ý Jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Come on, babe,
why don't we paint the town ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz? ¢Ý

¢Ý I'm gonna rouge my knees
and roll my stockings down ¢Ý

¢Ý And all that jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý Start the car,
I know a whoopee spot ¢Ý

¢Ý Where the gin is cold,
but the piano's hot ¢Ý

¢Ý It's just a noisy hall
where there's a nightly brawl ¢Ý

¢Ý And all ¢Ý

¢Ý That ¢Ý

¢Ý Jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý No, I'm no one's wife ¢Ý

¢Ý But, oh, I love my life ¢Ý

¢Ý And all ¢Ý

¢Ý That ¢Ý

¢Ý Jazz ¢Ý

¢Ý That jazz ¢Ý