And I love them for loving me.
And we love each other.
And that's 'cause none of us got enough love in our childhoods.
And that's show biz...
... kid.
♬ She's givin ' up her humdrum life ♬
- ♬ I'm gonna be -- Sing it ♬ - ♬ Roxie ♬
♬ She made a scandal and a start ♬
♬ And Sophie Tucker will shit, I know ♬
♬ To see her name get billed below ♬
♬ Roxie Hart ♬
I can't take it anymore.
You can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato!
Oh, no, Mama, not you, too.
I have some bad news. The tour has been canceled.
What?
Your name's been out of the papers too long.
All you read about today is that Hart kid.
She's hot.
And what am l supposed to do, huh?
Suck up to her like everybody else?
It couldn't hurt.
Over my dead body.
Mind if I join you?
[ Clicking, feedback ]
MAN : Lights out. 1 0 minutes.
Smoke?
Look what some Johnny sent me.
Triple-cream caramels all the way from San Francisco.
I'm watching my figure.
You know, the trial.
Hey, great mention of you in the Trib today, huh?
You know, there have been so many.
I just can't keep track.
Did I tell you, you are exactly the same size as my sister?
You'd fit into her costumes perfectly.
Really?
Yeah. I was thinking with all the publicity
that's piled up between us, and when Billy gets us off,
we'd be a natural to do an act together.
You think so, huh?
[ Clicking, feedback ]
BANDLEADER: Ladies and gentlemen...
Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation.
♬ My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop ♬
♬ My sister and I were headed straight for the top ♬
♬ My sister and I earned a thou a week at least ♬
♬ Oh, yeah ♬
♬ But my sister is now unfortunately deceased ♬
♬ I know it's sad, of course ♬
♬ But a fact is still a fact ♬
♬ And now all that remains is the remains ♬
♬ Of a perfect ♬
♬ Double ♬
♬ Act ♬
Watch this.
You have to imagine it with two people.
It's swelI with two people.
♬ First I'd ♬
♬ Then she'd ♬
♬ Then we'd ♬
♬ But I can't do it alone ♬
♬ Then she'd ♬
♬ Then I'd ♬
♬ Then we'd ♬
♬ But I can't do it alone ♬
♬ She'd say, "What's your sister like ?" ♬
♬ I'd say, "Men " ♬
♬ She'd say, "You're the cat's meow" ♬
♬ Then we 'd wow the crowd again ♬
♬ When she'd go ♬
♬ I'd go ♬
♬ We'd go ♬
♬ Then those dingdong daddies started to roar ♬
♬ Whistled, stomped, stamped on the floor ♬
♬ Yelling, screaming, begging for more ♬
♬ And we'd say, "Okay, fellas, keep your socks up ♬
♬ 'Cause you ain't seen nothin' yet" ♬
♬ But I simply cannot do it ♬
♬ Alone ♬
So, what do you think, huh?
Come on, you can say.
I know. You're right. The first part's shit.
But the second part...
is really nifty.
Okay.
♬ She'd go ♬
♬ I'd go ♬
♬ We'd go ♬
♬ And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown ♬
♬ To cheer the best attraction in town ♬
♬ They nearly tore the balcony down ♬
♬ And we'd say, "Okay, boys, we're going home ♬
♬ But before we go, here's a few more partin' shots " ♬
♬ And this we did in perfect unison ♬
♬ Now you've seen me going through it ♬
♬ You may think there's nothing to it ♬
♬ But I simply cannot do it ♬
♬ Alone ♬
So, where was the part where you blew her brains out?
Okay, Roxie, I'Il level with you.
Oh, no, no, no. Don't bother.
You think you're fooling me?
You're alI washed up, and it's me they want now.
And l'm a big star.
Single.
Oh, I almost forgot.
You were in the paper today, too...
in the back, with the obituaries.
"Velma Kelly's trial has been postponed indefinitely."
Seven words. Wow.
Oh. Here's a little piece of advice.
Direct from me to you.
Lay off the caramels.
BANDLEADER: And now, for all you Chicago stay-up-laters.
You night owls who only come alive after dark.
We dedicate this tune.
"Chicago After Midnight."
BlLLY: This all took place on Lakeshore Drive.
Incredible. Incredible.
All right. Yeah. Thanks, Tom.
They just arrested this woman for a triple homicide.
Really?
Get this. She's an heiress.
What?
All the family's in...
pineapples, grapefruits, some kind of fruit.
So anyhow, this dame, Kitty what's-her-name...
she's playing house on the North Side
in an apartment with a guy named Harry.
What Harry does for a living, no one's quite sure,
but it doesn't matter because she's footing the bills.
Anyhow, Kitty comes home tonight.
Harry's in bed, which is par for the course.
She goes to change.
When she returns, she notices something rather odd.
Extremely odd.
Kitty disappears for a second. Cool as a cucumber.
When she returns, she gently wakes up Harry.
[ Laughter ]
Harry says, "What? I'm alone."
She says, "Alone?
You got two other women in bed with you."
So, get this. Harry says, "Come on, doll.
You gonna believe what you see or what I tell you?"
[ Laughter ]
Good night, folks.
Give us the line!
Miss Sunshine. From the Evening Star.
I wonder if you wouldn't mind saying a word or two?
Sure, I'll say three. Go to hell!
Please direct your questions to her counsel.
You're not my counsel, and I want my money back.
It's not your money. It's your mother's money.
MARY SUNSHlNE : Are you sorry, dear?
Sure, l'm sorry.
Sorry I got caught.
-Oh, Miss Sunshine? -Not now, Roxie.
I got a letter from a guy.
He says he's going on a hunger strike until l'm freed.
That's nice, dear.
Miss Baxter?
Did you know these two ladies personally?
Did I know these two ladies? Was that your question?
Yeah, that's my --
She's very high-spirited, isn't she?
Miss Baxter?
Oh, hey, Mr. Flynn!
Mr. Flynn!
-Yeah, hi, Trixie. -It's Roxie.
Yeah, sure, I was just kidding.
Did you get my trial date yet?
Listen, kid...
I'm at the top of your list, right?
Go to hell!
Boy, what a hellion, huh?
She's a socialite, too.
Her mother owns all the pineapples in Hawaii.
What the hell do I care about pineapples?
-All right. -Listen!
Miss Baxter will answer all of your questions.
Afterwards, l'll be happy to give you an interview myself.
VELMA: How's it feel, kid?
J. Edgar Hoover couldn't find your name in the papers.
Mr. Flynn!
BlLLY: Someone open this door immediately!
MARY SUNSHlNE : Oh, my God! Roxie! What is it, dear?
Oh! Oh, no. Don't worry about me.
Oh, I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby.
Baby?
Shit!
Roxie, when did this happen, darling?
Well, Doc, is she or isn't she?
She is.
Would you swear to that statement in court?
Yes.
Good.
Button your fly.
I would just like to say that...
my own life doesn't matter now...
just that of my unborn child.
You poor dear, to have your baby born in jail.
My readers won't stand for it.
I can assure you that won't happen.
She'll come to trial at the earliest moment.
I think it's sweet.
First time we ever had one of our girls knocked up.
When is the baby due, Roxie?
I just heard the good news.
I'm the father! I'm the father!
Roxie, who's the father?
That question is completely out of line.
How dare you insult this brave, young woman.
That's enough.
Roxie, honey!
It's me! Daddy!
It's Daddy!
Roxie, I came as soon as I could!
♬ If someone stood up in a crowd ♬
♬ And raised his voice up way out loud ♬
♬ And waved his arm and shook his leg ♬
♬ You'd notice him ♬
♬ If someone in the movie show ♬
♬ Yelled, "Fire in the second row! ♬
♬ This whole place is a powder keg!" ♬
♬ You'd notice him ♬
♬ And even without clucking like a hen ♬
♬ Everyone gets noticed now and then ♬
♬ Unless, of course, that personage should be ♬
♬ Invisible ♬
♬ Inconsequential ♬
♬ Me ♬
♬ Cellophane ♬
♬ Mister Cellophane ♬
♬ Shoulda been my name ♬
♬ Mister Cellophane ♬
♬ 'Cause you can look right through me ♬
♬ Walk right by me ♬
♬ And never know I'm there ♬
♬ I tell ya ♬
♬ Cellophane ♬
♬ Mister Cellophane ♬
♬ Shoulda been my name ♬
♬ Mister Cellophane ♬
♬ 'Cause you can look right through me ♬
♬ Walk right by me ♬
♬ And never know I'm there ♬
Oh. I didn't see you.
Sit down. Sit down.
Look, Andy, I'm afraid I got to hit you hard.
And I can only hope that you'Il be big about it.
Amos. My name is Amos.
Who said it wasn't?
Oh, it was the kid's name I was thinking about, yeah.
You know when she's due?
September.
Oh, but pass out those cigars, anyway.
I don't want you to give a damn when people...
People what?
Laugh.
Laugh? Why would they laugh?
'Cause they can count.
Can you count?
September.
Here's a copy of Roxie's first statement
from the D.A.'s office.
It says she hadn't copulated with you
for four months prior to the incident.
Well, she would know.
Yeah, I guess we hadn't done no copulating since...
Wait a minute. That don't figure out right.
I couldn't be the father.
Forget about that now. My client needs your support.
You mean she needs a meal ticket.
That's all I ever been.
This time she's gone too far.
What are you gonna do? Divorce her?
You're damn right!
I'll divorce her!
She probably won't even notice.
[ lntercom buzzes ]
Yeah? Yeah, put him through.
♬ A human being's made of more than air ♬
♬ With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there ♬
♬ Unless that human being next to you ♬
♬ Is unimpressive ♬
♬ Undistinguished ♬
♬ You ♬
♬ Know ♬
♬ Who ♬
You stiIl here, Andy?
Yeah, I'm stiIl here.
I think.
♬ Shoulda been my name ♬
♬ Mister Cellophane ♬
♬ 'Cause you can look right through me ♬
♬ Walk right by me ♬
♬ And never know I'm there ♬
♬ I tell ya ♬
♬ Cellophane ♬
♬ Mister Cellophane ♬
♬ Shoulda been my name ♬
♬ Mister Cellophane ♬
♬ 'Cause you can look right through me ♬
♬ Walk right by me ♬
♬ And never know I'm there ♬
♬ Never even ♬
♬ Know ♬
♬ I'm there ♬
I hope I didn't take up too much of your time.
I've been waiting 1 0 minutes. Don't do that again.
This dress makes me look Iike a Woolworth's lampshade.
I'm not wearing this.
You're wearing it because I tell you to wear it.
When Andy's on the stand, I want you to be knitting.
Knitting? Oh, for Christ sakes.
-A baby garment. -I don't know how to knit!
Then learn.
That is no way to win a jury's sympathy.
Oh, you don't need advice anymore.
Lookit here, Mr. Mouthpiece...
it seems to me that I am the one
who's coming up with the good ideas.
I am sick of everybody telling me what to do.
You treat me like dirt.
You treat me like l'm some dumb common criminal.
But you are.
Well, it's better than being a greasy Mick lawyer.
Who happens to be saving your ass!
Who's out for all he can steal!
Maybe you'd like to appear in court without me.
Well, maybe I could.
Have you read the morning papers?
They love me!
Wise up! They'd love you a lot more if you were hanged.
You know why? 'Cause they'd sell more papers.
You're fired.
I quit.
Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case.
You are a phony celebrity. You're a flash in the pan.
In a couple of weeks, no one's gonna give a shit about you.
That's Chicago.
What happened?
It's the Hunyak.
She lost her last appeal.
So what's that mean?
Well, that means that next week, she's gonna...
This is Mary Sunshine coming to you from the Cook County Jail...
where history will be made today.
Katalin Helinski will become the first woman
in the state of lllinois to be executed.
And so, ladies and gentlemen...
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
for your pleasure and your entertainment...
we proudly present Katalin Helinski
and her famous Hungarian disappearing act.
You know, it's really not that bad.
You clear about everything we agreed on?
Yep. I've been up all night rehearsing.
What do you do when Harrison starts coming after you?
I sit still and look straight ahead...
never at the jury.
-And? -And I look modest.
-And? -And...
-And say nothing. -That's right.
-That was the deal, right? -Right.
You asked me back. I do all the talking this time.
Absolutely, Billy. Whatever you say.
Mr. Flynn. His Honor's here.
Thank you.
You ready?
Yeah.
I'm scared.
Ah, don't be.
I've been around a long time.
Believe me. You got nothing to worry about.
It's all a circus. A three-ring circus.
These trials, the whole world.
It's all show business.
But, kid...
You're working with a star.
♬ Give 'em the old razzle dazzle ♬
♬ Razzle dazzle 'em ♬
♬ Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it ♬
♬ And the reaction will be passionate ♬
♬ Give 'em the old hocus pocus ♬
♬ Bead and feather 'em ♬
♬ How can they see with sequins in their eyes? ♬
♬ What if your hinges all are rusting ? ♬
♬ What if, in fact, you're just disgusting? ♬
♬ Razzle dazzle 'em ♬
♬ And they'll never catch wise ♬
♬ Give 'em the old razzle dazzle ♬
♬ Razzle dazzle 'em ♬
♬ Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous ♬
♬ Row after row will grow vociferous ♬
♬ Give 'em the old flimflam flummox ♬
♬ Fool and fracture 'em ♬
♬ How can they hear the truth above the roar? ♬
♬ Throw 'em a fake and a finagle ♬
♬ They'll never know you're just a bagel ♬
♬ Razzle dazzle 'em ♬
♬ And they'll beg you for more ♬
- I object! -Sustained.
Your Honor, I haven't even asked the question yet.
♬ Give 'em the old double whammy ♬
♬ Daze and dizzy 'em ♬
♬ Back since the days of old Meth uselah ♬
♬ Everyone loves the big bamboozler ♬
♬ Give 'em the old th ree-ring circus ♬
♬ Stun and stagger 'em ♬
♬ When you're in trouble, go in to your dance ♬
♬ Though you are stiffer than a girder ♬
♬ They'll let you get a way with murder ♬
♬ Razzle dazzle 'em ♬
♬ And you got a romance ♬
HelIo, Amos.
Amos.
That's right, Mr. Flynn. Amos.
Amos, when did you file suit for divorce?
A month ago.
Was there any reason at this time?
I'Il say.
The newspapers said Roxie was expecting a Iittle stranger.
That's hardly grounds for divorce, is it?
A little too much of a stranger.
You mean you doubted the paternity of the child.
Well, sure.
Tell me, Amos. You share a bed with your wife?
Yes, sir, every night.
And you expect this jury to believe
that you slept next to this woman every night
without exercising your rights as a husband?
Well, I could've if I wanted to.
-Oh, but you didn't. -No, I did.
-Did what? -Want to.
-But you didn't. -Didn't what?
-What you wanted. -Wait. I'm getting confused.
Did you ever question Roxie herself?
Did you ask her if you were the father of her child?
No, sir.
But if you became convinced that you were wrong...
you'd be man enough to admit it.
You'd take her back if Roxie swore
that you were the father.
-Which she does. -She does?
She does! She does!
No more questions!
You can step down now.
Well done, Andy.
Oh, Roxie, l'm so sorry.
ALL: Aw!
[ Applause ]
♬ Give 'em the old razzle dazzle ♬
♬ Razzle dazzle 'em ♬
♬ Show 'em the first-rate sorcerer you are ♬
♬ Long as you keep 'em way off balance ♬
♬ How can they spot you got no talents? ♬
♬ Razzle dazzle 'em ♬
This is the moment we've been waiting for.
Roxie Hart finally takes the stand
in her own defense.
♬ And they'll make you a star ♬
Order! Order!
Proceed, Mr. Flyn n.
Roxie, I have here a statement
in which you admit to having iIlicit relations
with the deceased, Fred Casely.
Is this true or false?
I'm afraid that's true.
You're an honest girl, Roxie.
When did you first meet Fred Casely?
When he sold Amos and me our furniture.
Your personal relationship with him --
could you tell the jury when that began?
When I permitted him to escort me home one night.
I don't think I would've gone with him
if Mr. Hart and me hadn't quarreled that very morning.
-Quarreled? -Yes, sir.
Well, I suppose it was his fault.
Oh, no, sir. It was my fault.
I suppose I just couldn't stop pestering him.
Pestering him? About what?
I didn't like him working those long hours at the garage.
I wanted him home with me...
to darn his socks and iron his shirts.
I wanted a real home and a child.
So you drifted into this illicit relationship
because you were unhappy at home.
Yes. I was most unhappy.
Roxie Hart!
The state has accused you of the murder of Fred Casely!
Are you guilty or not guilty?
I'm not guilty. I'm not guilty.
I killed him. I did, but l'm not a criminal.
I'm not a criminal!
Do you recall the night of January 14th?
Could you tell the jury, in your own words,
the happenings of that night?
Well, when Fred came over, I told him my good news.
And what was that?
That me and Amos were gonna have a baby.
And that it was all over between us.
What happened then?
Well, then...
Then...
Did he threaten you, Roxie?
Objection, Your Honor. Counsel is leading the witness!
Sustained.
What did Casely say when you told him the news?
"l'll kill you before l'll see you have another man's child! "
Could you tell the audience -- the jury -- what happened next?
Well, in his passion, he tore off my robe...
and he threw me on the bed.
And Mr. Hart's pistol was lying there between us.
And then?
We both reached for the gun, but I got it first.
Then he came toward me with this funny look in his eyes.
He was angry and wild!
-Wild! -Wild!
Did you think he meant to kill you?
Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
So it was his life or yours?
And not just mine.
I closed my eyes, and I shot!
In defense of your life!
To save my husband's innocent, unborn child!
[ All gasping ]
[ lndistinct shouting ]
-Roxie! -Order!
What a bull's-eye, huh?
Order in this court!
I'll clear this court if necessary.
There's pandemonium here in the courtroom.
Order! Bailiff!
Mrs. Hart's behavior throughout this ordeal
has been truly extraordinary.
Yeah, I bet it has.
Opening her eyes, she fans herself
with her attorney's handkerchief.
-Handkerchief? -Poor child has had no relief.
She looks around bewildered, seeming to want something.
Oh, it's a glass of water.
Oh, Mama, that was my bit!
I told Billy I was gonna do that at my trial!
But now her eyes flutter wildly, and she --
Mrs. Hart has fainted again.
Oh, jeez.
She slumps over, her chiffon dress up around her knees,
revealing a glimpse of a blue garter with a rhinestone buckle.
Oh, Mama, she stole my garter.
-She stole my garter! -Don't break my radio!
First, the slob steals my publicity.
Then she steals my lawyer, my trial date.
Now my goddamn garter!
What do you expect?
These days you get a little success...
and it's good riddance to the people who put you there.
There ain't no justice in the world.
And there ain't nothing you can do about it.
Nerts to that.
You think I got you up here just so you can listen to my radio?
People write some pretty interesting things
when they think no one's looking.
Oh, Mama.
The state calls a rebuttal witness.
[ Spectators murmuring ]
Left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand.
You swear to tell the truth, so help you God?
And then some.
Have a seat.
Would you state your name for the record, please?
Velma Kelly.
Miss Kelly, will you please tell the court
if the object I am holding is the one
you happened to come upon in the defendant's jail cell?
Yes, it is.
I submit this as Exhibit "X."
Roxie Hart's diary.
I object!
My client has never kept a diary.
And even if she did, this would be invasion of privacy
in violation of the Fourth Amendment
and illegal search without a warrant.
Yeah. And she broke the lock.
[ Laughter, gavel banging ]
Order! Order!
Well, that settles that. I'll allow it.
What's the big deal? It's just a bunch of doodlings.
If you would read for us, please.
I haven't worked in a while.
"What a laugh, plugging Fred Casely.
The big baboon had it coming.
I'm just sorry I only got to kill him once."
I never wrote that!
You...
Hey, she made that up!
-Order! Order! -She made that up!
Please, Mr. Flynn, get control of your client.
I'm sorry, Your Honor. It won't happen again.
Sit down. Shut up. It's only making it worse.
I have no more questions.
Your witness, Mr. Flynn.
Ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance.
Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Mr. Harrison?
Maybe to drop all charges against you
in exchange for testifying?
Well, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.
[ Laughter ]
Good. Good.
Since you gave such an impressive performance
for Mr. Harrison, maybe you'd do me the same honor.
-I'd be delighted. -Thank you.
"Fred Casely assured me
he'd get me an audition down at the Onyx.
Then he reneged on his pledge,
and that was my motive for attacking him."
Pretty fancy way of saying "He's a big fat liar
who welshed on a deal, so I shot him."
"Amos accused me of having an affair...
so I told him that the charge was erroneous."
Objection, Your Honor!
Mr. Flynn is twisting this evidence
to draw conclusions that are specious and...
-Erroneous? -Exactly!
[ Laughter, gavel banging ]
Order! Order!
Miss Kelly, do you know the meaning of the word perjury?
-Yes, I do. -Do you know it's a crime?
Yes.
If it turns out that you knew that this diary was a fake...
I'd hate to think of you rotting in prison for the next 1 0 years.
Since you won your freedom.
Look, all I know is what I was told.
Oh, so, all right.
So you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?
No.
Mama -- Miss Morton gave it to me.
She said someone sent it to her.
Someone? Any idea who this mysterious benefactor might be?
No. She didn't know.
All right, let's see if we can work this out.
Someone who writes about reneging on pledges
and erroneous charges.
Call me crazy. Doesn't that sound like a lawyer?
A lawyer who had a sample of my client's handwriting.
Mr. Harrison, didn't you ask Roxie
to write out a confession?
Yes. You're not suggesting I tampered with evidence?
No. I wouldn't. Don't be ridiculous.
No. That's thoroughly and utterly absurd.
Now that you mention it...
Your Honor, this is outrageous!
I know. I agree.
To even suggest that the prosecutor
would make a thieves' bargain with Velma Kelly...
then fabricate the very evidence that set her free!
Just so you can win another case
and move one step closer to the Governor's Mansion!
Why, it's simply beyond all imagining!
I'll hold you in contempt!
No, it is not even conceivable!
But if it were, wouldn't it be time to say:
"Come clean, Mr. Harrison"?
Even in Chicago, this kind of corruption cannot stand!
Will not stand!
That's enough, Mr. Flynn!
I agree, Your Honor!
It is enough!
The defense rests.
[ Rim shot, cymbals crash ]
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mary Sunshine...
reporting live from the Cook County Courthouse.
The city of Chicago has come to a complete standstill...
as the trial of the century finally draws to a close.
Mrs. Hart sits quietly at the defense table.
Hands folded.
Wondering what fate has in store for her.
And now a hush falls over the courtroom...
as the 1 2 men of the jury file slowly back to their seats.
[ Gavel banging ]
Gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?
We have, Your Honor.
The jury has reached a verdict.
Will the defendant please rise?
What is your verdict?
We, the jury, find the defendant...
Roxie Hart is innocent! She's innocent!
Get your paper!
Roxie Hart is free! She's free!
[ Gunshots, screaming ]
Come on! Move it!
First she shoots the husband, then she plugs the lawyer.
Don't you want to take my picture?
I'm the famous Roxie Hart.
Hey, what happened?
Billy, what the hell happened?
This is Chicago, kid.
You can't beat fresh blood on the walls.
But my publicity, Billy. My name in the papers.
I was counting on that.
Your gratitude is overwhelming, kid.
I just saved your life.
Yeah, and you got $5,000.
And what do I get? I get nothing?
It's $10,000 once I collect from Velma.
I get nothing?
Oh, don't forget your blessed diary.
Hope you don't mind. I added a few erroneous phrases.
Sorry I couldn't tell you.
Couldn't take a chance.
I never lost a case.
You're a free woman, Roxie Hart.
And God save lllinois.
What do you want?
I want you to come home.
You said you still wanted to. And the baby.
Baby? What baby?
Oh, Jesus.
What do you take me for?
There ain't no baby.
There ain't no baby?
They didn't even want my picture.
I can't understand that.
Why didn't they even want my picture?
♬ It's good ♬
♬ Isn't it grand? ♬
♬ Isn't it great? ♬
♬ Isn't it swell? ♬
♬ Isn't it fun? ♬
♬ Isn't it? ♬
♬ Nowadays ♬
Ladies and gentlemen...
Miss Roxie Hart says "Good night."
♬ There's men everywhere ♬
♬ Jazz everywhere ♬
♬ Booze everywhere ♬
♬ Life everywhere ♬
♬ Joy everywhere ♬
♬ Nowadays ♬
♬ You can like the life you're livin' ♬
♬ You can live the life you like ♬
♬ You can even marry Harry ♬
♬ But mess around with Ike ♬
♬ And that's good ♬
♬ Isn't it grand? ♬
♬ Isn't it great? ♬
♬ Isn't it swell? ♬
♬ Isn't it fun? ♬
♬ Isn't it? ♬
♬ But nothing ♬
♬ Stays ♬
♬ You can like the life you're living ♬
♬ You can live the life you like ♬
Didn't she kiIl a guy awhiIe back?
Ah, who can keep them straight anymore?
♬ But mess around with Ike ♬
♬ And that's good ♬
♬ Isn't it grand? ♬
♬ Isn't it great? ♬
That's great!
We'Il be in touch.
I'm not quite finished yet.
Wait, wait, wait. One more.
I could...
Just a second. I'm not --
God damn it!
Thank you!
Here's the music, hon.
Thanks.
God damn it.
You know, you're really pretty good.
Yeah, that and a dime.
What are you doing here?
I heard you been making the rounds.
if it was up to you, I'd be swinging by now.
I always knew Billy would get you off.
You should learn how to put things behind you.
Oh, thank you.
I'll put that at the top of my list.
Right after finding a job and an apartment with a john.
Shut up and listen to me!
You really are something.
Coming in here like some goddamn queen bee.
All full of advice for a poor slob like me.
Let me tell you something, Miss Velma Kelly.
I got a new life now.
One of the best things about it is it don't include you.
I thought we could help each other.
You thought wrong, didn't you?
Listen to me.
I talked to this guy downtown.
He said one jazz killer is nothing these days...
but two...
We could make a couple of hundred a week.
Think about it, Roxie.
Our faces back in the papers. Our names on the marquee.
Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart.
Shouldn't it be alphabetical?
That could work.
Couple hundred?
Maybe we could ask for a thou.
We're worth it.
Forget it.
It'll never work.
Why not?
'Cause I hate you.
There's only one business in the world
where that's no problem at all.
Ladies and gentlemen...
the Chicago Theater is proud to announce a first.
The first time anywhere there's been an act of this nature.
Not only one little lady. But two.
You've read about them in the papers.
And now here they are.
Chicago's own killer-dillers. Those scintillating sinners.
Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♬ You can like the life you're livin ' ♬
♬ You can live the life you like ♬
♬ You can even marry Harry ♬
♬ But mess around with Ike ♬
♬ And that's good ♬
♬ Isn't it grand? ♬
♬ Isn't it great? ♬
♬ Isn't it swell? ♬
♬ Isn't it fun? ♬
♬ Isn't it? ♬
♬ But nothing stays ♬
♬ In 50 years or so ♬
♬ It's gonna change, you know ♬
♬ But, oh, it's heaven ♬
♬ Nowadays ♬
Okay, you babes of jazz, Iet's pick up the pace.
Let's make the parties longer, the skirts shorter.
Let's alI go to hell in a fast car and keep it hot!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Applause ]
[ Cheers ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers, whistling ]
Me and Roxie, we'd just like to say thank you!
Thank you!
Believe us, we could not have done it without you!
♬ And all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ That jazz ♬
5, 6, 7, 8...
♬ While truckin ' down the road of life ♬
♬ Although all hope seems gone ♬
♬ I just move on ♬
♬ When I can't find a single star ♬
♬ To hang my wish upon ♬
♬ I just move on ♬
♬ I move on ♬
♬ I run so fast ♬
♬ A shotgun blast ♬
♬ Can hurt me not one bit ♬
♬ I'm on my toes ♬
♬ 'Cause heaven knows ♬
♬ A moving target's hard to hit ♬
♬ So as we play an ice ballet ♬
♬ We're not the dying swan ♬
♬ We just move on ♬
♬ We move on ♬
♬ Just when it seems ♬
♬ We're out of dreams ♬
♬ And things have got us down ♬
♬ We don't despair ♬
♬ We don't go there ♬
♬ We hang our bonnets out of town ♬
♬ So there's no doubt ♬
♬ We're well cut out ♬
♬ To run life's marathon ♬
♬ We just move on ♬
♬ So fleet of foot ♬
♬ We can't stay put ♬
♬ We just move on ♬
♬ Yes, we move on ♬
♬ Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town ♬
♬ And all that jazz? ♬
♬ I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Start the car, I know a whoopee spot ♬
♬ Where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot ♬
♬ It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl ♬
♬ And all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Righ t up here is where I store the juice ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky ♬
♬ I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high ♬
♬ 'Cause in the stratosphere, how could he lend an ear ♬
♬ To all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz? ♬
♬ Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy-shake ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Show her where to park her girdle ♬
♬ Oh, her mother's blood will curdle ♬
♬ If she 'd hear her baby's queer ♬
♬ For all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town ♬
♬ And all that jazz? ♬
♬ I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down ♬
♬ And all that jazz ♬
♬ Start the car, I know a whoopee spot ♬
♬ Where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot ♬
♬ It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl ♬
♬ And all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ No, I'm no one's wife ♬
♬ But, oh, I love my life ♬
♬ And all ♬
♬ That ♬
♬ Jazz ♬
♬ That jazz ♬